Do you ever feel that life hates you?

Well.. let's just say that everything has been a bit strange lately. And annoying. And I don't know how I feel about stuff.

I've been single for the longest that I have in about 3 years. Half the time I'm really happy about this and I really am enjoying myself. I like the me I have rediscovered. Or at least I think I do. I am liking having my own independance again and not having to answer to someone (which always ends up happening to me in relationships). I like the fact that I have my friends and am not wrapped up in being with someone else.

But then I get into those dark moments (which seem to be more and more frequent) where I wish things were different...

And now life seems to be playing an oh so fun game of screwing my life over. If I want to do something there seem to be about a million strings attatched which makes whatever it is astronomically more hassle for me. Which is kind of something I'm against.

I get stressed out too easily about nothing. I'm not even doing my Leaving this year and I spent half of fifth year stressing out about that. My granny's in hospital now and I'm just CONVIINCED it means we're going to have another summer like last year. And I don't want that. At all. I can't lose another member of my family. It would just be too much again.

It sounds horrible and selfish but sometimes I need to concentrate on my own sanity despite what's going on around me...