Update

So, since I last blogged a lot has changed in life. Again.

I turned 18, became obsessed with reading fan fictions, have become totally comfortable wearing heels, saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows(Pt. 1), have made new friends, have remade old friends, have grown up a bit...

And, in a way have been abandoned. or at least I feel like I have been by one person at least.

It's been months but when anyone talks about relationships you're the one I mention. I still have texts saved from you. I'm always gonna miss you, but I know moving on is the best thing.

The thing is though, I was able to move on even when you were talking to me and even when we would meet up. I was able to keep my feelings under control. I know things are tough for you now, but they were tough in a different way last year, and things are always tough for me. But the only way you can think of getting over me is having nothing to do with me? Dear, we tried that before and apparently it didn't work.

I just want to be your friend and help you through all this. All I would like is for us to be able to talk without returning to the same old pattern...

But clearly you can't.

You're 20 now. It seems like such a far away age. And so much has changed for you since we were close. Our lives have changed in many many ways in such a short space of time.

Yet your head still seems to be stuck at March last year. If you had realized then what you know now then I am positive things would be different. But they can't go back. It's not an issue of being hurt or you having to prove yourself or that I didn't love you.

I loved you more than I thought I would ever love someone. And eventually you got sick of that. You still have a place in my heart despite everything. That place, however, has evolved and developed and moved on.

I would still like for the paths of our lives to meet someway in someday.

It's up to you now though